2017 the year that was…

My last blog post for the year… 2017….

What can we say about 2017?

It’s been shit, it’s been horrible, it’s tried to knock us down a lot of times but we got back up, and it was a year filled with back to back cycles of IVF- another whole year where my life was consumed by trying for a baby!

so now that mean 2015, 2016, and 2017 all taken over by IVF.

I was going to try and start another transfer of my frozen embryos this year but my cycle is on hold.. My TSH levels are elevated and I have been put on medications to try and bring them within “normal IVF range”. I guess that was just one final kick in the gut for me for 2017!

This year I did 2 stim rounds, I transferred 8 embryos, had 2 recurrent miscarriages in a row including losing my twins at 11& 12 weeks, had 5 operations, cried for most of the year and had what felt like every single person around me have a baby.

Infertility is a lonely journey, one that no one understands, even those who are going through infertility sort of understand but each and every one of us has different journeys so it’s never the same. We handle emotions differently, we handle grief differently and all have different problems that have lead us down the path in the first place. I started this journey in what everyone believed was because of male factor infertility. I’m still on this journey because of my own problems and nothing to do with male factor. When it will end I have no idea, if I will ever hold a baby of my own- again I have no idea, but for now and into the distant future I will give it everything I’ve got. This has been the hardest 3 years of my life, the pain, emotions, grief, anxiety, depression I have felt I have never experienced ever in my life.

2017 saw us married for 2 years! It’s been amazing.

2017 saw me graduate from University again in my post graduate degree in Anaesthetics and recovery nursing.

2017 we travelled to Noosa and Inverell

2017 we spent lots of time with family and friends which is always a happy occasion

2017 Max’s buisness is going really well

2017 my blog posts were seen by over 50,000 people. I had them shared on multiple websites, papers and magazines. I recorded Adds for Monash IVF which will be heard around the 16th Jan (I think) and I had messages saying I helped lots of couples experiencing what we are.

2017 saw me become an Aunty for the first time to a precious little princess

2017 Max got selected to be a baton bearer for the Commonwealth Games which we look forward to watching him in April 2018

2017……. Not sure I can write anymore good things about the year!

We spent a lovely Christmas surrounded by family and friends with my Mum and Dad here with us on the Gold Coast. That was special. Christmas morning I awoke very sad and kept thinking what if…… The childhood memories I have of Christmas are so special and I can’t wait to be able to pass them on. The look on the faces of Max’s grandchildren is absolutely priceless. We want that for our own! I want that desperately!

New Years Eve this year will be spent with our very dear friends eating, laughing, drinking and watching fireworks from prime position on the Gold Coast. The way all New Years should be spent!

We will praying and wishing at midnight that our dreams do come true in 2018 and we have a much better year then this year. I am pretty sure I’ve said that now 3 years in a row!

So for my final blog I say a very Happy New Year to you all.

I hope for everyone that 2018 is a good year. I hope for my fellow warriors that 2018 is your best year.

Surround yourselves with love, friends, family and good people. Those who care and those who understand. We lose a lot of friends on this journey, I know I have, but that’s ok I’ve learnt to live with it. Be kind and gentle to yourself and have faith that all will eventually work out.

So cheers to the end of 2018 and cheers to a better 2018.

Hopefully next year I have positive news for my blogs 🙏🏻

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